When you’re young, there are some things you just take for granted, you assume are no-brainers. You don’t yet understand the way that life twists and turns and throws your no-brainers off in ways you never could have anticipated. I never, ever, ever could have imagined a world where I would not be present at my youngest brother’s wedding, and yet, with twists and turns that brought me to live in China during a global pandemic, my life threw me a curveball. In October of 2022, my brother Dixon got married, and I couldn’t be there. While borders to China had sort of opened up, a little bit, there was no guarantee that if I got out, I would be able to get back in. When I asked my school if I could fly home for the wedding, it was too big of a risk that I’d get stuck outside, and they couldn’t let me go. This, for obvious reasons, devastated me. I hadn’t been home or seen my family in over 2 years, and now I was going to miss one of the most important days of family history-making. But, rather than let this ruin me, Michael and I decided to carve out something special.
With an October 1st wedding, the big day lined up well with our annual Golden Week holiday and the coinciding week off of school. Conveniently, Michael and I also had other reasons to make the weekend special: the wedding day was nine days after our first anniversary, and nine days before Michael’s birthday. So, we decided to do it up special and plan a getaway weekend exploring this amazing city we live in. One of Michael’s favorite movies is Midnight in Paris – remember, where Owen Wilson ends up time traveling back to Paris in the 1920s every night and gets to schmooze and talk art with Ernest Hemingway and Salvador Dali and all the other big names of the time? Well, Paris isn’t the only city that had a roaring Jazz Age, and we just so happen to live in a city filled with its own stories of extravagant parties, lavish entertainment, and a decadent nightlife. In our very own “Paris of the East,” we planned our Midnight in Shanghai.
During the 1920s and 1930s, Shanghai was the place to be. The “Pearl of the Orient” had developed into an international hotspot, and was a cosmopolitan playground for the rich and famous. With a flourishing economy and a thriving culture, Shanghai was one of the fastest growing cities in the world at the time. Traders and bankers from across the world were setting up shop, while European architects and real estate moguls were crafting the Bund that we see today. As J.G. Ballard, the British novelist who later went on to write Empire of the Sun and Crash, wrote in his autobiography about being raised in Shanghai during this time, “Bizarre advertising displays were an everyday reality … though I sometimes wonder if everyday reality was the one element missing from the city … I would see something strange and mysterious, but treat it as normal … Anything was possible, and everything could be bought and sold.” Jazz, fashion, parties, nightlife, gangsters – we’re talking full on Gatsby in Shanghai at the time.
(Now, for full transparency, not everyone was thrilled with these new developments in Shanghai or enjoying the big, sparkling party that was Shanghai’s Jazz Age. The Shanghailanders – the foreign settlers in the city, most often British, French, and American – were living in their own concessions of land they’d basically carved out for themselves after really doing some damage in the Opium Wars. Local Chinese people were now being excluded from areas of their own city. As the moral of the story often tends to be, colonialism sucks. So, yes, while I’m going to focus on the glitz and glam and international development in Shanghai at that time, because it IS very cool and significant to Shanghai’s history, I do want to acknowledge that it came with a price, and that price is pretty gross.)
During this era of revelry and luxury, elaborately designed buildings were going up along the Bund, the river-side “Wall Street of the East” that had been built as a testament to trade, commerce, stability, and success. One such building was the Cathay Hotel. Built in 1929, the Cathay Hotel was one of the first high-rise structures ever built in the Eastern Hemisphere. While its green copper pyramid rooftop has become an icon on the Bund’s skyline (you can even see it in both of the old photographs above!) it was what was inside the building that really won the hotel its prestige. With Italian marble floors and Lalique glass artwork, all framed within Gothic Revival-style architecture, the Cathay soon earned a reputation as being the most beautiful hotel in the East. In addition, the hotel featured state-of-the-art amenities such as air conditioning and in-house telephones – which weren’t even in use in European hotels at the time!
The Cathay Hotel was one of the passion projects of Sir Victor Sassoon, a property and finance tycoon with a love of high style and high society. He was known for throwing extravagantly flamboyant costume parties; the lists of those who had been invited were published in local newspapers a week in advance. That I’ve been able to find, there was a Pajama Party, a Scavenger Party, a Toy Party, an All-Feminine Cocktail Party, a Shipwreck Party (one couple came naked, just wrapped in a shower curtain!), and a Circus Party. Take a look at these amazing photos from the “Cathay Circus” – I just love them.
As the hotel’s website says, “The guests at the Cathay Hotel were the famous and infamous – adventurers and travelers, members of the Shanghai and Shanghailander families, the swanky, the chic and the talented, artists, diplomats and celebrities – the elite of the world.” Some of the notable guests included Charlie Chaplin, George Bernard Shaw, General George C. Marshall, Paulette Goddard, Douglas Fairbanks. . . Noel Coward even wrote his first draft of Private Lives in his hotel room while recovering from the flu!
So, when Michael and I decided we want to make the wedding weekend one to remember, even from another country, we booked ourselves a stay at this historic hotel, now renamed the Fairmont Peace Hotel.
Walking into the hotel feels like stepping back in time. You can feel the whispers of these old elaborate parties and grandeur in the air; it’s magical. We checked into our beautiful room, delighted to be spending the next few days playing dress up in the Jazz Age.
After checking in, we went up to the hotel’s rooftop restaurant, The Cathay Room, for an anniversary dinner. We were seated right next to a window with a stunning view of the more modern side of the Bund across the river, featuring the iconic Oriental Pearl Tower. (If you’ve ever seen a skyline silhouette picture of Shanghai – that’s the view you see.) We enjoyed a truly excellent meal – the chef even came out to prepare our steak right at the table for us!
When we got back to our hotel room after dinner, the staff had prepared a small birthday cake for Michael as a surprise. We were already in love with this place, and hadn’t even stayed there a night yet. It was going to be a great weekend.
The next morning, we woke up early to get dressed up for our Zoom call in for Dixon and Regen’s rehearsal dinner. (Did I instantly start crying and have to conveniently bustle around the room for a bit while Michael chatted with my family and my best friend who carried her iPad around all of the wedding events? Yes. As much fun as we were having, it was really really hard, and I couldn’t wrap my head or my heart around the fact that I was missing this.) We were able to say hi and catch up with family and friends as we were moved around the rehearsal dinner – we were even set up on top of a cocktail table during dinner so people could come by and say hi to us as they went up to get food.
After everyone in the States headed off to bed, our day was just beginning. I had organized and put together a “Midnight in Shanghai Architecture Tour” that would take us along the mile or so along the riverfront to learn more about 38 of the most iconic buildings and structures on the Bund. (By “architecture tour,” I mean I spent way too much time on the internet and also bought a book about all of the Bund architecture, and planned to walk Michael to each of the buildings and tell him all about their history and architecture. Believe it or not, this is actually one of our favorite things we’ve ever done together. Knowing things is cool!)
Before heading out, we first stopped to really appreciate the beauty of the interior of the Fairmont Peace Hotel. After being occupied by the Japanese military during World War II, then seized by the Chinese government and used by the Chinese Communist Party during the 1950s and 1960s, the building reopened as a hotel in 1965. After temporarily closing in 2007, the hotel was refurbished and reopened in 2010 with the intention of restoring as much of the original design work as was possible. Nowadays, the lobby is an Art Deco dream, with copper chandeliers, ornate moldings, and a stunning golden yellow glass skylight that had all been covered up for decades. Thank goodness they are once again visible and able to be appreciated for the beauty they are!
For the next few hours, we walked up and down the Bund, stopping in front of each building to learn about the architecture, what it was originally built for and what it does now, and any other interesting pieces of history surrounding the structure. Now, I won’t be going into all of that in this post – this one’s going to be long enough as it is – but if you ever come visit us in Shanghai, I’d be happy to take you down to the Bund and give you your own personal Bund tour! The buildings are stunning! Shanghai used to have so many banks!
We popped into Victor’s Cafe for lunch (Victor as in Victor Sassoon as in The Cathay Hotel….yes, it’s another one of the restaurants from the hotel. We were going with a theme!!) and loved getting to see all of the old photographs from the Bund in the 1930s along the walls.
That evening, we continued our Bund exploration by joining a Huangpu River Cruise. The river basically cuts right through Shanghai, creating a west side (Puxi) and an east side (Pudong) of the city. (For reference, I live, work, and basically only ever really hang out in Puxi. The only time I really go to Pudong is to go to Disney or to the airport.) But where Puxi and Pudong meet the river is where we get the Bund! So while we spent most of our time exploring the historic Bund on the Puxi side, just across the river in Pudong we have the financial district, where we get the iconic more futuristic looking skyline that you will see on the Shanghai postcards. There are multiple cruise companies that go out with dinner cruises each night, sailing back and forth along the Huangpu and allowing for the best viewing of the contrasting styles of architecture on either side. We enjoyed an evening out on deck, really soaking in the beauty of this magnificent city we call home.
Hey! That’s our hotel!
The next morning, we got up in the wee hours of the morning to get dressed up for Dixon and Regen’s wedding! We had ordered a bottle of champagne to the room the night before so we would be able to celebrate our early morning wedding without disturbing any of the staff of the hotel. While the rest of the city slept, we dolled up and waited for the video call from back home when celebrations would start kicking off.
Once again, my friend Tori had us tuned in via her iPad, so after bringing us around to say hi to everyone before the ceremony, we were brought to our virtual front row seat. In addition to us being there on a screen, my mom had printed out our faces on card stock, Flat Stanley style, so that they could have us in some of the pictures back home as well. It was all very silly, and yet, it worked. We poured our drinks, cozied up on the couch with the laptop propped up on the window ledge, and watched my baby brother marry his high school sweetheart.
First kiss as husband and wife! 
We were passed around the room during cocktail hour as Tori carried us through the festivities. When breakfast at our hotel finally started, the wedding reception was just getting ready to start, so I brought my laptop (with the Zoom still up and going) down to the hotel’s beautiful ballroom where they have their breakfast buffet. Admittedly, I was the only one down there in a formal gown at 6:00 in the morning, but when Michael explained to the hotel staff what I was doing, they were all so sweet and supportive. I ate a quick breakfast while my brother Carter gave a heartfelt toast, then I scurried back up to our room for all of the first dances.
Then, the real party began. Now, an iPad substituting as the sister of the groom shouldn’t work, but it did. By this point, we were tuned in both on my laptop via Zoom AND on my phone via FaceTime, so we had the laptop stationed in the corner of the room providing volume for all of the songs during the party while Michael and I danced around our hotel room with my phone. Remarkably, it was actually really fun. According to my family, apparently us being on the iPad during the dance was not weird at all; we were passed around from person to person, usually a central figure of the dance floor, always involved in the fun.
Obviously I had to try to get some screen shots throughout the morning/night. They were all blurry and chaotic, but I think they do a pretty good job of summing up the experience. It also gave me what is probably my favorite picture ever of my brothers and I…
Even though it was not at all how I had envisioned celebrating Dixon’s wedding, somehow, we were all able to still have a truly wonderful time. On both sides of the world, we felt like we were connected and together for this incredible day, which really is something special. I didn’t miss my brother’s wedding – I was there. I was so much a part of it. When I look back on that day now, two years later, I’m not filled with regret or sadness, but remember it as just being such a happy experience. So while I don’t recommend being trapped across the planet and missing important life events – there are still ways forward. There are still ways to celebrate and be together. This whole experience really taught me that.
After taking a long mid-day nap (we’d been up and drinking since like 4:00 in the morning…), Michael and I headed out for one last celebratory night out on the Bund. In what was formerly the Shanghai Club (a very exclusive British gentlemen’s club) and is now the Waldorf Astoria, you can find one of our now favorite historic bars in Shanghai. The Long Bar was originally built in 1910, and at the time was recognized as the longest bar in the world. The dark mahogany, marble-topped, L-shaped bar extended across the room at 110 feet long, and apparently there used to be a hierarchy with regards to where you were allowed to sit at the bar; all of the fancypants bankers and whatnot sat at one end, whereas men in lower classes had to sit down at the other. (All of the women, meanwhile, were just…not allowed in…) Unfortunately, due to, you know, the giant war going on, the bar was abandoned in 1941 and the Shanghai Club building passed through many different owners and uses over the next few decades. In the 1990s, what had once been the Long Bar was ripped up and the space was turned into a KFC. (Damn it, China, really?!) Luckily, in 2009 the building was taken over by the Waldorf Astoria and the Long Bar was rebuilt in an attempt to replicate the original as closely as possible. So even though it is not the original bar anymore, visiting the Long Bar feels like stepping back into the past at this famous and historic bar. (Plus, as a woman, I always feel sneaky proud that all of those old stodgy British men would hate that I’m enjoying a Manhattan at their exclusive bar…)
With our last morning at the Fairmont before packing up and heading back home, we joined the hotel’s Peace Museum Heritage Tour. Not only did a guide lead us through the main areas of the hotel and point out items of historical significance, but we were then brought to the hotel’s museum that showcases various hotel memorabilia: porcelain, crystal, antiques, Art Deco furnishings, old newspaper articles and photographs, and more. After the tour, we went back up to The Cathay Room for afternoon tea, enjoying the beautiful view of the Bund through the window one more time before saying goobye.
You never know where life’s twists and turns will lead you. While my twists and turns may have prevented me from physically attending my brother’s wedding, they also brought me to this incredible city which I wholeheartedly love, and this wonderful, blessed life I get to lead, with the amazing partner I’ve met here. Though I’m still quite behind in my blog posts and writing this just over two years after Dixon’s wedding, I’m writing it exactly one year (to the day!) before my own wedding next fall. And that feels pretty damn magical.
Adventure in the Great Wide Somewhere 